A fever, in the cancer world, is a very scary thing. Phoebe has had fevers off and on for the past 2 days. Not high and not constant, but they are there and we don't like them. The doctors have re-started her antibiotics, as in lieu of a functioning immune system, they are the next best thing. Her current antibiotic count is now four, one is an anti-fungal and the other three protect against various types of bacteria. She has also been started on an anti-viral drug, a preventative measure because she is high risk and the doctors aren't sure what is causing her fevers. Despite all of this, Phoebe looks great. The doctors come in to see her and the look on their faces is one of pleasant surprise. She is defying the odds. One of our nurses told me that after reading Phoebe's chart and history, she braced herself for the very sick baby that she was sure she would meet once she entered Phoebe's room. She too commented on her pleasant surprise. Despite all of this, the look on the doctors faces, the comments of nurses, I am all too aware of just how fragile and precarious our situation is.
Right now we are doing what we do best,
watching and waiting. And hoping. Hoping that Phoebe's fevers are not a
result of something more serious. As for Phoebe - well, she is Phoebe.
Quite possibly the happiest baby I have ever seen and spending most of
her days doing what she does best. Laughing, smiling and playing. She
is also very feisty and so when she is not smiling, she is getting very
angry with her nurses and doctors when they approach her with their
stethoscope. She does have some side effects from the chemotherapy,
mainly nausea and a decrease in her appetite, but there is a real
disconnect between the Phoebe that shows up in blood work to the Phoebe that we see playing and laughing everyday. The
Phoebe that we have come to know is mighty. She has never paid attention to what her blood has to say. She takes
each moment as it comes, rejoices in the simple things in life, and she
greets each day with a smile on her face. We can all learn a lot from
And so in addition to watching, waiting and hoping, we are
continuing to follow Phoebe's very strong lead. Everyday we watch Phoebe for signs and symptoms that all of
this is getting to be too hard, and each day, Phoebe tells us in her
own way, that she is all right. Today her blood works shows us that the
chemotherapy is working. Her white cell count is .5 and her
other blood counts are also falling. Today she will have a red blood
cell and platelet transfusion. Thank-you blood donors, I don't know
what we would do without you.
Thank-you also to all of you who have been hoping with us, and praying for Phoebe. It truly means so much to us.