Phoebe has relapsed. The mass in her pelvis is cancerous, showing up in early pathology reports with Leukemia cells and preliminary bone marrow results that look deeper than what can be seen from under a microscope show that she has the same genetic markers of her original Leukemia cells. The Leukemia that she has already fought twice has once again reared its very ugly head. 

Cancer is a monster. 

There really are no words that will even come close to describe how we are feeling. We are devastated, heartbroken, desperate, overwhelmed. We hurt for Phoebe, for how hard she has fought and struggled, only to be back here again. It is just not fair. 

We are taking things one day and one task at a time. Today's task was to get Phoebe to pee, which with the help of a stent in her ureter, she is doing very well. Tomorrow, if her kidneys show signs of improvement, we will begin to try to shrink the mass with steroids. 

We don't have a definitive or even a loose plan of treatment, our goal right now being to alleviate some pressure that the tumour is causing and to prevent further growth, while still protecting Phoebe's kidneys. When cancerous cells break down, like the millions that are cowardly hiding in my baby's pelvis, they release toxins that can permenently damage vital organs. So we need to regain some ground before we can look at the next task, which will hopefully be to rid Phoebe of this for good. 

We are not giving up. We are holding on to hope and breathing in and out, keeping Phoebe as close as we can as often as we can, and putting one foot in front of the other. 

We are blessed with many wonderful doctors, both near and far, who are working hard for our sweet Phoebe. And we are blessed with an army of love and support that we have felt at every step. Thank you all for holding Phoebe close. We need your love and prayers now more than ever.