Almost there

The countdown is on ... Phoebe has completed 5 days of chemo for this round, and now we wait for her counts to recover.  Once they are high enough, she will receive 4 treatments of high dose chemotherapy, more time to recover and then we will head to Toronto for her transplant.  As we come to the end of this chapter, we are aware that we are not on safe ground yet, but we are almost there.

In a few weeks we will have a teleconference with the transplant doctors from The Hospital for Sick Children in Toronto.  We have been told to arrive armed with all of our questions and with an open mind.  Our oncologist said that they will present many worst case scenarios as they have to give us all of the possible complications and there are many.  She said that we may start to wonder why in the world we are doing this, and then she said, but we are going for the cure.  The cure.  What a wonderful thing. 

Phoebe is amazing.  She has had some nausea due to the 5 days of chemotherapy she just received, but she is smiling, laughing and playing.  Trying her hardest to be a normal baby despite the abnormal atmosphere where she has been spending the better part of her first year.  Her first little tooth poked through yesterday, and against all odds she has met the majority of her milestones so far.  Unlike a "normal" baby, Phoebe has some days that she spends mostly in bed, she has been outside twice in five months, and has never seen things that most of us take for granted.  When Mae was Phoebe's age, we would take her outside everyday and show her squirrels, dogs, the buds on the trees or ducks swimming in the river. I would excitedly point out trains and trucks, and she would laugh and catch her breath when she felt a strong gust of wind on her face.  We would stand on the porch and watch the sky change before a big storm, and she would squeal in delight at the sound of thunder and the sight of heavy drops of rain.  Phoebe has yet to see a squirrel, or a dog, and she has never heard the sound of thunder.  Instead she sees countless smiling faces everyday; happy and excited to see her growing and smiling back.  She sees the strength and resilience of other children, and she listens and watches as they laugh and play.  Often hockey, in the hallway just outside her room.  She sees and hears many wonderful things, but we will happily have so much catching up to do once we finally get home.